Our Big Screen Dreams

on my mind tonight. i really want to start sharing some of our wonderful testimonies regarding jobs and finances. had you asked me three years ago if EP would be doing this full-time and if i’d be staying home i’d say NO WAY, but here we are. God cares for us…He always always always provides. We are faithful in our giving and we firmly believe that by not robbing God we are constantly under His wings of provision. this is only the most recent story…it isn’t even my favorite one, but it was on my mind tonight about how perfectly God coordinated things.

EP needed a job recently. its funny to say that because he always needs a job a guess, but the nature of this business you have lots of jobs every year…it’s just getting them lined up right. ANYWAY, by the way we live and budget we knew that our money would run out on a certain approaching date. its okay to admit this, i know many people who would never admit to money being close to gone, but again, this is the nature of the business, what you are failing to see is that my husband hasn’t worked in 7 weeks. I mean, how many people can say that….again…not my point here.

okay, so the date was on the calendar. lots of projects in the pipe (there always are) but nothing ready to rock’n'roll…even a few we were fairly certain would go. EP started reaching out to things he wasn’t so sure about but was wanting to do because he is the provider in our home. Project 1 he spends at least a week or two talking, planning, meeting, budgeting with these guys and suddenly they “went another direction.” {Can I interject something here, I’m not sure in the entire time he’s been doing that this has happened for far in the process of his help} We were really upset, naturally. We kept saying, “That must not be where we need to be.” It’s easier to say than to feel, but we must confess these things until they are in our hearts (but that a whole other blog). Project 2 comes along. Not even a producer role so EP’s a shoe in, right? Plus he knows people on staff/crew….. nothing. i couldn’t understand, where were we supposed to be, Lord??

this is where the rubber meets the road in faith. we knew the next project was there. we knew that even though these things didn’t come about that there had to be something better out there. i sent off a check one day and finally broke. my email to EP only said, “I’m starting to freak just a little bit.” may first we wouldn’t make our payroll payment.

our tax refund showed up in our account before we had expected – just a day or so after my email. it was enough to carry us through the next month. yall, we weren’t even expecting to GET a return (last year we owed!), much less one that could cover our expenses for a month! then, out of the blue, EP gets a call and nails a job, has a check in the bank and is out of town within a WEEK!!! a job paying more than the two small projects would have paid and a project with better credit aka the role he is used to playing – producer. Praise the Lord!!

but the story doesn’t end there. what about the refund money?? naturally, i start configuring the 8-zillion ways to spend it. but neither of us feels like we can spend it yet. is it any wonder at all that the refund covers the surgery i just found out i need to have. imagine if we would have not yeilded to the Holy Spirit and spent the money WE wanted to. Now, we can pay in cash! is it how we want to spend that money? absolutely not!! but its exactly what we need. (phil 4:19 my God will supply all of your need according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus) PRAISE THE LORD!

Recap: Better job, more money, tax refund instead of paying, perfect amount for surgery ALL AT THE RIGHT TIME!

i can’t wait to share the next….maybe i’ll start writing it….

I have a few really good posts in my drafts and I hate to start with this last minute one, but I could use some prayers of peace and victory and I know a lot of you are praying friends.

Anyone on my Facebook may remember back when I was in North Carolina I posted a lot about pain I was in. I called the dr several times but never went in because it was just a come and go pain. Then, in December, I made my very first ER visit. After a CAT scan and other tests were done everything was pretty inconclusive and ‘assumed’ to be a ruptured ovarian cyst only because one ovary was smaller than the other.

Since then at least twice a month for a two to three day period I have been stricken with an unexplained pain similar to cramps. Really really bad pain–like make you wanna pass out pain. The codeine (even taking two like the ER dr said) doesn’t help at all. The only way for the pain to go away is to sit still where it isn’t aggitated…there are still cramps, but just not as intense. Obviously, sitting still isn’t too easy with 2 kids, especially when EP is gone.

A couple weeks ago as I described this pain to my friend Tamara she asked me if it could be a returning of endometriosis. A few years ago (like 3 months before I got pregnant with Stunt Boy) I had a cyst removed and several spots of endo were removed. I hadn’t even thought of it. I mean, doesn’t that go away with babies?? And I’ve had two. And doesn’t that lead to infertility, again I have two kids. But as I sat in bed in pain Saturday for the second time this month I looked it up. Every pain that I have experienced was mentioned. It makes sense because endometriosis cannot be seen on a cat scan or a sonogram which I have had done – only by doing a scope procedure (which I have had done twice).

So, my mom emailed me monday morning reminding me to call an set up an appointment today. I was kinda surprised they got me in same day. Sure enough the Dr. thinks its the same thing. But, again, the only way to know or treat it is to have the scope procedure. Good news is they can tie my tubes while there so all isn’t lost if they don’t find anything (which I am believing they will find something!!). It couldn’t be worse timing considering EP hit the road at 3 am that very morning not to return for weeks. :-/

I need peace to make the right decisions during this time. When to have it? Now? After EP gets back? Where will the kids go? How long will I need help this time? What does this mean for my own travels to TN? I plan to spend the weekend in prayer of the right timing and details and I will have PEACE moving forward. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will have surgery next Friday, April 30th. (Funny, that’s my 6th wedding anniversary. Guess nothing says happy anniversary like making sure you can no longer reproduce! ha!).

I’m praying for victory, not healing. I firmly believe this is an attack from Satan. I believe that I am already healed by the stripes of Jesus (1 Peter 2:24 – by whose stripes you WERE healed. were – already done.). This attack is far more than physical. Being a good mother and wife is hard when you are battling physically. It also effects my finances, which in turn effects my mentality (more than I care to admit). This is exactly what I meant in THIS post. Stealing my health, finances, and well-being. I’m claiming VICTORY over this battle.

Please agree with me in prayer!!

Well, I’m blogging from the car somewhere between Dallas and Monroe, LA…. don’t you love Ecto? Anyway, I’m headed to Monroe to celebrate the life of my Mamaw.

On Tuesday morning I got a call that her condition had taken a turn for the worse over the weekend. I say a turn for the worse but really, it was just time. Mamaw hasn’t been good for awhile. In 2004, dementia had set in and we moved her into an assisted living facility. In 2006, I visited her there with my 9 month old SB and she had no idea who I was. She cried because she couldn’t remember and I cried because I knew she wouldn’t ever. This is when the grieving process began. You know, I think we mourn people as they begin to move away.

In 2008 EP, SB and I went to Monroe because I wanted SB to ‘meet’ his great grandmother. I was kinda shocked at the condition I found her in. Wheelchair bound, hardly able to speak or open her eyes…it was then that I prayed she go home soon. I know that sounds bad, but you don’t want to see family suffer. And not that she was suffering per se…just what kind of life is that??? That was 2 years ago.

So, needless to say, when I got the call Tuesday, I wasn’t shocked. But then began the waiting game. Every phone call or text the next three days I would wonder, is this it?? Thankfully, it didn’t take long. She peacefully went Home yesterday with my Aunt by her side.

I think this is one of those funerals where its a celebration and full of family memories. I’m looking so forward to sitting around with my cousins sharing fun stories and memories and laughing our silly heads off….because that’s what we do. We laugh.

After much deliberation, my family stayed home and I came with my parents and sister. I’m so happy that I did. This trip is usually about 4.5 hours but today its been almost SIX!!! There was traffic all around DFW so it took us almost an hour and a half to get to Forney! We hit rush hour in Shreveport, which wasn’t terrible. But THEN – somewhere near Grambling, we assume, a huge accident occurred and we had a 45 min (at least) detour off the interstate.

The original plan was that my family was going to follow my parents. The entire time we went through the traffic/rerouting/etc I kept thinking praise the Lord they didn’t come. If I had any doubts about the decision it was all cleared up.

Let me tell you how neat it is to be making this trek one more time with just the people who I made it with hundreds of times as a child. We have had more laughs….over the strangest things…its been wonderful. We even ran into a cousin in a rest stop bathroom in Tyler!! Talk about laughs. And although we are here for a usually sad occasion, I know these memories will last forever.

Happy Easter!

Song starts at the 2 min mark.

I just have to post this before I go to bed….

EP and I just watched The Real Face of Jesus on the History Channel. Until recently I had never heard of the Shroud of Turin…like, Wednesday. I think I had heard it mentioned but never compelled to research it. Thursday I looked at the Wikipedia definition and couldn’t really see it… Anyway, this program blew my mind. I thought, you know, they’d just show how they got to the image, but it was SO much more. I can’t even put into logical sentences all that I just learned, but let me tell you one thing- I have never been so, what’s the word, convinced scientifically?? I feel like that is an incorrect way of saying it as I don’t need to be convinced, but do you know what I’m saying???

The evidence around this shroud is amazing. Most specifically the unexplained lighted that caused the reverse image….I just, there are no words.

Of course, I’m sitting there floored and trying to talk to EP about it and his only response was, “of course.” No shock at all. I’m not shocked…well, yeah, I guess I am. It’s all so perfect and amazing.

I was already planning to read again the passion before going to bed tonight, but something tells me that tonight it will jump off the page.

I stand in AWE of my Savior. Every single thing He did was perfect and has purpose….including this shroud.

On another note, we really enjoyed making the cookies with SB before bed tonight. We really discussed each portion and, for a four year old, I was amazed at how well he understood. I was also so pleased that when EP was putting him to bed he requested to read “that story we just talked about.” What a sweet spirit developing in the boy.