Our Big Screen Dreams

I think I missed a female gene. No, really. I don’t really care to go shopping. I’d much prefer that I give the money to someone I trust and they make all clothing/decorating purchase for me. I just don’t get it. I’m hosting a shower on Saturday and needed to pick up a few decor related items before the big day. My mom so graciously offered to watch Kens while Kai was at school so I have 5 hours to do whatever I wanted. And what do most women do? Shop. I would have rather stayed home and laid on the couch but thats me. BUT, I went shopping…and shopping…and shopping. I got home and hated almost everything I purchased, or I loved it but it didn’t go. So now I have a ton of returns. Joy. It’s so so so frustrating for me.

I will say the day started on a high note. Worst to clothing items for women to shop for: 1) Jeans 2) Swimwear. Guess what I had to do today? Finding something that covers the vastness that is my rear is a true challenge. I have tried on so many swimsuits already this season and NONE fit. I may have lost weight but my bottom will always be round….and my top nonexistant. I can find then usually to fit one or the other never both. Somehow I found two suits today in one stop. Usually I’d just buy one and move on but since I never find anything I bought both. I’m so stoked! I will say though, I’m no long a juniors swimwear shopper. Oh well, I’m in my 30′s guess its time to move on, right?

Okay, well that was a whole lot of nothingness?? Sorry for rambling. Today foodwise got a little tricky. I was up at 5 to workout at 6 but I didn’t want to workout on a full stomach so breakfast didn’t come until almost 8 which isn’t good. Then while shopping I knew I’d need to eat while in a certain store so rather than take everything in I ate in my car a bit early. Yes, I packed a full cooler of snacks for today (I was so proud)….but since I stayed out longer than planned I was caught slightly unprepared. Note to self always plan for an extra meal just in case.

B (8): Eggs and Oats w/berries

s1 (10:30): apple, turkey, PB

l (2): Jamie’s Easons Carrot Cake Protein Bar (NOT ENOUGH FOOD)

s2 (4:30): Greek yogurt & Granola and a handful of nuts

d (7): salad w/chicken

s3: 1/2 serving (1 patty) Chicken Rice Cakes

Missing that 2 PM “meal” reallllllly messed me up. Actually, eating S1 too early and not having enough for L messed me up. The bar was good but i needed more. Like a full fruit serving or maybe tuna andTHEN the bar….it just wasn’t a complete meal like I’m used to now. I felt like I was hungry the rest of the afternoon. :-/ I also started craving a Diet Pepsi at that time because I was at Ikea and I always leave Ikea with a pepsi. I kept telling myself no, just get to the car and drink water, which I did. But that pesky craving came back tonight and I had 12oz of Dt Coke for the first time in over a week. I know that doesn’t sound like long but it IS!! The thing with not having Dt Coke is number one because of the aspertame…which I happen to love because I’m so used to it but it is terrible for your body. Also, soda makes me feel bloated these days, and I have been feeling so great I didn’t want to ruin it. But, alas, I did. I enjoyed it but not enough to need to have another anytime soon.

Several people have emailed wanting to know the new foods we are eating so tomorrow I plan to do a little post over the foods we enjoy the most now…like certain PBs, fruits, etc…. I know I’m boring the heck out of some people but it’s helping me and by emails I know its helping some others.

i was thinking today, i’m only going to post what i’m eating for another week. i mean, really who cares what i’m eating–BUT, i do have to say it has helped me a bit. Today, I went to see Chad on a set and reached for a handful of chex mix. My first thought was who cares, my second thought was you just ate, third, you’ll have to write it down and say you screwed up again!

Breakfast(7:30): 4 eggs whites; 1/3 cup oats mixed with blackberries and strawberries; black coffee

S1 (1030): Apple, 1 Tsp PB (natural, of course), 3 oz turkey breast meat (not luncheon meat! if you were wondering)

L (115): whole wheat pita stuffed with 3 oz chicken, lettuce carrots ((WISH I COULD HAVE USED CHEESE!))

S2 (4:15): Greek yogurt; banana; 1/4 cup bare naked granola

D(8): 3/4 cup whole wheat thin spaghetti; 1/3 cup sauce (as clean as i could find); 2.5 oz ground turkey Toasted ezekial bread with garlic salt

*haven’t had a dt coke in one week; only black coffee, water, and twice the “pure” aka naturally sweetened crystal light packets. this is huge people HUGE!

*reduced oats because i was having a hard time getting the full portion in. I’d rather have more fruit IN my oats to bulk it up!

*favorite meal all week has been sliced turkey breast, apple and PB. Perfect mix of sweet and salty

*i’m kinda lazy and not wanting to enter the calories. for one thing, everything i ate was clean and well portioned. also, i notice when i enter my calories and i have extra in the day i’ll eat even if i’m not hungry in the evening “because i can” and that is so the wrong mentality.

*again, i can’t stress enough the fullness i have felt this week. a good fullness. i remember once all week being starved (tuesday?) between my post-workout and lunch. other times i’ve hit the three hour mark and i’m still not overly hungry….which is the point. it’s really brought to my attention how much i was eating just to eat. like today with the chex mix. i had eaten the S2 about an hour before. I knew my body wasn’t hungry!

*tomorrow is sunday and we *always* eat at my mother-in-laws after church. and my brother is in town this week which means there is bound to be a big meal there. i’m already thinking ahead to how i’ll handle these situations. i never want to be that over the top no one is going to ever invite you over because you won’t eat their food person. you can make ok decisions even when stuff is out of control. for instance, if we eat over at my parents and chips are out AND we are having dinner, by skipping the chips and waiting for the meal, i’m already saving myself some calories. I think its a “i don’t want to offend anyone” thought. How would I feel if i invited people over and they wouldn’t eat my food? It’s such an odd balance! Luckily, we usually grill and have veggies with them. My mother-in-law is a casserole cooker for after church. and if she doesn’t have anything made there is usually a stop to get tacos and burritos–not sure i can do that.

Today was a day I knew that I wouldn’t be eating clean. I’ve known all week. Today was the last day of MOPS and then my daddy took the kids and I to the stockyards. Was I horrible? No. Was I good? Not really.

B: Mish-Mash of MOPS goodies.

L: Riskeys BBQ Chicken Salad w/Dressing on the Side

S: a SLIVER of my moms Ritz Cracker pie

D: TBD

Aside from the obvious lack of meals today here are some notes:

* Yes, I realize that in Tosca’s book the “cooler” plans mean just that, pack your food. Which, I guess, I very well could have done BUT I wanted to just enjoy this day. And that’s completely okay—as long as I’m not just enjoying this day every other day. Overall, I think getting used to coffee and tea without sugar is a huge stepping stone. And I still haven’t reached for the processed baggies!

* At MOPS I ate considerably less than I used to eat. NO ONE brought fruit really and only one egg dish that was gone before I got there. So I had a lot of bread type products. All were about an inch to inch and a half square pieces: Soapapilla Cheesecake (cressents sugar butter and cream cheese); Banana Choc Chip bread; Buffalo Chicken dip 4 tortilla chips; I picked up a muffin but didn’t eat it. At MOPS I was surprised that I was able to tell the min I was full. I’m not used to feeling that until after I’m stuffed. I think I knocked out every craving at once! But having such a small helping of each was the way to go. But, still black coffee and no added sugar above and beyond that which was already in my dishes. It could have been way worse.

* I wasn’t hungry all afternoon.

*I didn’t drink near enough water.

* “Lunch” came at two. My salad was a grilled chicken in sauce on lettuce, corn, black beans, and **gasp** cheese. The ranch was on the side and honestly because of the seasoning on the chicken, I didn’t even need it. I wanted the fried pickles, I wanted the french fries, I wanted a lot on the menu… I went for the salad because I knew the greens would keep me full longer, as would the protein (since i really hadn’t gotten any from breakfast!) and while I kept the cheese, I think it was a fitting choice.

*Meltdown. I wasn’t even hungry but my mom had a pie out when we stopped to get my car. It’s a pie that never gets made…so i had to have a sliver, right?? Okay, no, this was a major breaking point. I had a one inch (maybe smaller) sliver.I know how much sugar is in it because I gave her the recipe. I honestly don’t mind that I ate the pie. Who really cares, that one piece its going to make or break BUT I didn’t like eating it when I already felt full. I’ve started realizing how often I was eating just to be eating.

*Dinner. I’m so confused. Where do I go from here?? I typically think, “Oh I’l just start back up tomorrow” but I really think I want to finish strong. I’m not terribly hungry so I think I’m just going to wait and see. I’ll most likely just have a chicken rice cake (half a serving – one patty) and a salad with vinegar.

*my calories are most likely under, but my fats are probably way higher!

* I enjoyed my day but I enjoy how I’ve felt the rest of this week better. Tomorrow its back to planned meals and portions. And really, I’m ready!