Off to the races

Okay, I’m not really “off” to the races.   

I live 5 miles from Texas Motor Speedway. TMS hosts two, yes, TWO, NASCAR races a year. That means twice a year race fans from all over descend upon my town andtake over. I’m not kidding in the slightest about take over…this is how race week goes for me.

* STORES: Normally the week before, you notice race paraphernalia in your grocery stores. Let me clarify, my local Wal-Mart has an entire section dedicated to race t-shirts, flags, etc…I don’t even really know what is in there I usually just walk right past it. Also my WM has racecars as decoration. I know this as SB shows them to me every.sticking.time I show there. Wal-Mart, naturally, decks out. Big huge banners saying “welcome race fans,” racks upon racks of race t-shirts and onsies…yes, onsies. Today, I almost bought a pink Dale, Jr race onsie just for fun. Also, the center aisles (you know between the food stuff and the clothes are stocked FULL of beer, soda, and chips. On race week even my really nice Tom Thumb starts putting out race stuff in the entryway. And Albertson’s has a tent set up out front so you can purchase all your NASCAR gear without having to enter the store. By Friday, you just avoid the stores. Period. They are packed. Even gas stations are full….Esp. the diesel lanes. I mean, you have to REALLY be needing something to get me to go to the store (WM especially). (Or you have to be super cheap – which I am – which is why I went to WM today jut to buy pine sol and Advil)

* SIGNS: Suddenly all down the highway and in front of every shopping center there are signs. “Last stop for 7-11″ “Race Fans Welcome.” “Bagged Ice 99cents” “Hot Fresh Donuts” etc..

* PUBLICITY: Okay, this is where I kinda start getting bothered by the race. Everywhere you go there is a display of a racecar and TONS of fans. Case in point, Thursday I sent EP to the store (Tom Thumb, I’m not cruel enough to send him to Wal-Mart). It took forever. He came home saying they were showing a car and there was a line across the building of fans. It was still there an hour later when I left to tan. Yesterday, same parking lot the AMP/National Guard car was parked in the same lot attracting MORE fans. Repeat scenario at Wal-Mart and Home Depot. I get it, but I get annoyed at the traffic.

* TRAFFIC: It starts on Monday. You start seeing all of the RVs at intersections. It’s kinda exciting to see the big semis roll into town…even for a non-race fan. I’ll never forget a year ago I was at a major intersection and four (2 per race team) passed, I got goose bumps. The rest of the week is just heavier traffic. Race day/days isn’t too bad. For one, you just have to work the system. Take your back roads, know when the race starts and stops, etc. My poor SIL lives less than a mile from the race. Now THAT is no fun. Oh, and you’ll never ever see more RVs and pickup trucks.

* FANS: Well, this is where race week gets interesting. Race fans are a whole different breed of people. Seriously. I’m not knockin’ on race fans, but you gotta admit, they are different (just like when we used to attend bodybuilding show – different culture). Take today for example, I was al Wal-Mart (because I am that cheap) and I’m trying to get past a homeless (no really) looking man. I say, “Excuse me.” His response, “It’s okay I saw your bright lights.” UHHH???? Ooookay. EP later explained that he was not talking about female anatomy but that you flash your brights to get around someone…wheew. Or yesterday when I was at Home Depot and a guy in t-shirt with cut off sleeves, mardi gras beads and a CUP OF BEER passes me….really?? Is that legal?? (By the way he bought a ladder, which I found funny). People have flags hanging off their cars and shoe polish supporting their drivers… even saw a guy selling his ticket on his car. And, man, these people are loyal. I was parked today next to fans from Nebraska!