It just works

EP is about to leave again. He leaves Thursday and will be gone until March. I’m looking forward to blogging through his trip. I want to keep an account of how it works around here…so my blog is about to be a journal.

All week I have heard, “I don’t know how you do it.” So, I thought maybe I’d share how we do it…we don’t, God does.

I have to go back just a bit…see, it took a few years for me to realize that this was God’s calling on my husbands life. Period. No if’s and or but’s about it. THIS is his ministry. When he started out, I rolled my eyes at this following a dream and demanded a paycheck. (yup, that’s me!)

Those first few films were hard. I spent many hours in tears over the phone asking my husband WHY he was doing this to us….to his son and to his wife. I was so focused on me, that I didn’t realize he wasn’t doing this TO us, but rather for us. And honestly, looking at it now, not even for US but for God. We hit many many hurdles those films. I could not understand how this would be our life…my husband leaving me and our kid (s) for months on in, so busy when we were around to hardly see us, non-stop working (there is no such thing as office hours in film making). Making me fly alone…not being there…why me? I had even threatened at one point to never visit set again. (hahaha)

I’m not sure when exactly it was, but God started working on my heart. (Probably after LOTS of prayer on EPs part )  I began to see the joy and satisfaction on my husbands face and in his attitude that came along with doing what he loved (bye-bye personal training). People, if you have ever seen someone unhappy in what they are doing day-to-day you know how that affects EVERYONE in the house. I started realizing that this WAS a calling, not just a dream. I saw the impact these films were having….and I’m not talking about the messages, yall. DO you know how many opportunities there are to be a witness, to be light on a film set??

Then I found myself praying for more…more jobs Lord. Let this man never return to his personal training days…I prayed for an ABUNDANCE! Yes, that’s right, I started praying for jobs…even knowing what it meant for my family.

Imagine what it felt like to have a job handed to EP that required him to leave a mere 4 weeks after Starlet was born. Yall, this is where the rubber meets the road. Here I have prayed and prayed for jobs for this man and lo and behold—NOW? NOW, God?? EP came to me and said, “I will turn this down if you say so. I will not leave if you aren’t comfortable.”

So I prayed, and it wasn’t long until I knew. How can you pray to the Lord for abundance and then say, “Sorry God, poor timing.” You can’t. I prayed, the Lord delivered. And then I knew, I could do this….WE could do this.

Since that time my husband and I work in perfect harmony. He understands that sometimes I may need to talk a good hour of nothing having been locked up with nothing but short people to talk to all day. I understand he IS busy and can’t always chat about how long its been since SB pooped last. He isn’t blowing me off. I have learned to be less needy while visiting, he’s learned to take more time off to see us.

My life here runs smoothly. I have an excellent support network. Starting first with my families! I am 5-10 min from every family member on both sides of our families. I spend many afternoons on my parents couch just to see other people, I spend tons of time with my in-laws. I have an awesome Church family. I have great gals to unload to from MOPS, Bible study and preschool friends.

I can’t tell you exactly how it works, but I can tell you WHO makes it work: God. Period.

I know that because of God’s hand in this all we are able to do it. I know that God only could prepare a husband and wife to be apart for so long yet still flow so seemlessly. I know that God only can touch my sons life and help him understand why daddy is gone. God only can give me peace when I start to stress.

{{ okay, i just got lost spilling all of those words and they are in no logical order whatsoever…..so pardon me…just spilling my guts.}}